登陆注册
19311700000041

第41章

"She is right! Talent isn't genius, and you can't make it so. That music has taken the vanity out of my as Rome took it out of her, and I won't be a humbug any longer. Now what shall I do?"That seemed a hard question to answer, and Laurie began to wish he had to work for his daily bread. Now if ever, occurred an eligible opportunity for `going to the devil', as he once forcibly expressed it, for he had plenty of money and nothing to do, and Satan is proverbially fond of providing employment for full and idle hands. The poor fellow had temptations enough from without and from within, but he withstood them pretty well, for much as he valued liberty, he valued good faith and confidence more, so his promise to his grandfather, and his desire to be able to look honestly into the eyes of the women who loved him, and say "All's well," kept him safe and steady.

Very likely some Mrs. Grundy will observe, "I don't believe it, boys will be boys, young men must sow their wild oats, and women must not expect miracles." I dare say you don't, Mrs. Grundy, but it's true nevertheless. Women work a good many miracles, and I have a persuasion that they may perform even that of raising the standard of manhood by refusing to echo such sayings. Let the boys be boys, the longer the better, and let the young men sow their wild oats if they must. But mothers, sisters, and friends may help to make the crop a small one, and keep many tares from spoiling the harvest, by believing, and showing that they believe, in the possibility of loyalty to the virtues which make men manliest in good women's eyes. If it is a feminine delusion, leave us to enjoy it while we may, for without it half the beauty and the romance of life is lost, and sorrowful forebodings would embitter all our hopes of the brave, tenderhearted little lads, who still love their mothers better than themselves and are not ashamed to own it.

Laurie thought that the task of forgetting his love for Jo would absorb all his powers for years, but to his great surprise he discovered it grew easier every day. He refused to believe it at first, got angry with himself, and couldn't understand it, but these hearts of ours are curious and contrary things, and time and nature work their will in spite of us. Laurie's heart wouldn't ache. The wound persisted in healing with a rapidity that astonished him, and instead of trying to forget, he found himself trying to remember. He had not foreseen this turn of affairs, and was not prepared for it. He was disgusted with himself, surprised at his own fickleness, and full of a queer mixture of disappointment and relief that he could recover from such a tremendous blow so soon. He carefully stirred up the embers of his lost love, but they refused to burst into a blaze. There was only a comfortable glow that warmed and did him good without putting him into a fever, and he was reluctantly obliged to confess that the boyish passion was slowly subbsiding into a more tranquil sentiment, very tender, a little sad and resentful still, but that was sure to pass away in time, leaving a brotherly affection which would last unbroken to the end.

As the word `brotherly' passed through his mind in one of his reveries, he smiled, and glanced up at the picture of Mozart that was before him...

"Well, he was a great man, and when he couldn't have one sister he took the other, and was happy."Laurie did not utter the words, but he thought them, and the next instant kissed the little old ring, saying to himself, "No, I won't! I haven't forgotten, I never can. I'll try again, and if that fails, why then...

Leaving his sentence unfinished, he seized pen and paper and wrote to Jo, telling her that he could not settle to anything while there was the least hope of her changing her mind. Couldn't she, wouldn't she, and let him come home and be happy? While waiting for an answer he did nothing, but he did it energetically, for he was in a fever of impatience. It came at last, and settled his mind effectually on one point, for Jo decidedly couldn't and wouldn't. She was wrapped up in Beth, and never wished to hear the word love again. Then she begged him to be happy with somebody else, but always keep a little corner of his ghart for his loving sister Jo. In a postscript she desired him not to tell Amy that Beth was worse, she was coming home in the spring and there was no need of saddening the remainder of her stay. That would be time enough, please God, but Laurie must write to her often, and not let her feel lonely, homesick or anxious.

"So I will, at once. Poor little girl, it will be a sad going home for her, I'm afraid." And Laurie opened his desk, as if writing to Amy had been the proper conclusion of the sentence left unfinished some weeks before.

But he did not write the letter that day, for as he rummaged out his best paper, he came across something which changed his purpose. Tumbling about in one part of the desk among bills, passports, and business documents of various kinds were several of Jo's letters, and in another compartment were three notes from Amy, carefully tied up with one of her blue ribbons and sweetly suggestive of the little dead roses put away inside. with a half-repentant, half-amused expression, Laurie gathered up all Jo's letters, smoothed, folded, and put them neatly into a small drawer of the desk, stood a minute turning the ring thoughtfully on his finger, then slowly drew it off, laid it with the letters, locked the drawer, and went out to hear High Mass at Saint Stefan's, feeling as if there had been a funeral, and though not overwhelmed with affliction, this seemed a more proper way to spend the rest of the day than in writing letters to charming young ladies.

同类推荐
  • 句曲外史集

    句曲外史集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 如来成道经

    如来成道经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 五灯会元

    五灯会元

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 超宗慧方禅师语录

    超宗慧方禅师语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 三朝圣谕录

    三朝圣谕录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 爱情的围墙

    爱情的围墙

    爱,是最美、最自然的感情。许多人认为爱情只是彼此本能的一种牵引,不需要任何方式上的改进和努力。却不知爱情也需具备一定的技巧和方法。有时,一个关键的技巧,便助你赢得如意爱情。
  • 重生农门骄

    重生农门骄

    这是一个男人穿越成家族嫡长孙之后宅斗官斗一把抓的故事!穿越后计划安排表。第一:接回被送出去的亲妹妹;第二:努力读书,在古代,当官才是硬道理;第三:摆平撒泼老太太,心狠亲四叔;第四:抱对大腿混官场,为后代子孙不用缴税而奋斗;第五:找个美娇娘——这条有点难,是听从父母之命还是自由恋爱,要庶女还是嫡出,貌似有的磨……
  • 总裁看招:二婚女人不打折

    总裁看招:二婚女人不打折

    丈夫离奇失踪,闺蜜小三丢下私生子扬长而去,公司负债累累,濒临破产。别人是灰姑娘变公主,她却是公主变成了灰姑娘,豪门阔太一朝梦碎。好吧,天塌下来当被盖!她苏绿宁不是那么容易被击垮的!夫债妻还,她抖擞精神,坚定信念,替夫偿还所有债务。可是为什么?以债主自居的沈大总裁,就像恶霸地主黄世仁、周扒皮!债务变本加厉,时不时强迫嘴对嘴人工呼吸,甚至要求她以身相许!拜托,要不要这么狠毒!
  • 堕落圣灵

    堕落圣灵

    圣灵大陆是一片独属于精灵的大陆,在这里没有人类,有的只是俊美的精灵以及凶猛的魔兽。火、风、自然、大地、堕落五大精灵种族分别割据一方。来自异界的主角--星辉重生成了倍受唾弃的天之弃儿--堕落精灵,还是堕落精灵中的九王子。来自异界的强者在这个新世界也注定不会平凡,看星辉如何一步一步踏上他的强者之途!
  • 无敌天邪

    无敌天邪

    看一代魔界邪神,如何被人封印记忆魔功,然后又从零开始,一统仙魔两界.......
  • 温柔校花爱上我

    温柔校花爱上我

    任宇宏抬起头,一颗颗星星倒映在了他眼中。闪闪烁烁,仿佛从心间飞出的一个个希望。看着这些星星,心中不由自主生出一股豪气。“终有一天,我要让我的父母住在环境优美的豪宅里,而不是这种乱脏差的地方。”
  • 佳人录

    佳人录

    是诗飞诗、是文非文、是记非记、是说非说、不过,不是四不像。
  • 颠龙倒凤

    颠龙倒凤

    本文男主角龙魂,女主角艳艳,龙魂在东胜帝国的孤儿院长大,他一直很想见到自己的母亲,他曾是帝国圣亚魔武学院的学生,就是在这里认识并爱上了艳艳,当时艳艳是他的体能恢复师,同时也是个舞者。不知什么原因,艳艳出卖了龙魂,害他被学校开除,魔法和功力尽失,成了一个普通人,又没有钱,走在大街上衣衫褴褛的,被几个东瀛人嘲笑,自己国家的侍卫也是狗眼看人低,骂他是无赖,怒气冲天的龙魂跟他们大打出手之后碰上了自己从小在孤儿院的好朋友林耀和其媳妇儿雨含。
  • 风露立中宵

    风露立中宵

    像一滴泪,把一页厚厚的历史打湿。不管是劫是缘,他把诗与情感当成了生命的全部,生命便有了“哀猿叫月”“病鹤舞风”般的凄美。写这篇小说,实在不只是为了讲述才子佳人们的风花雪月,而是为了古典文学“花非花、雾非雾”“照花前后镜,花面交相映”的美感。为了那些悲欢离合的传奇中,定有一段是我们的前生或今世。
  • 魅生(凤鸣卷)

    魅生(凤鸣卷)

    他是天下最好的易容师,优雅地操着刀,焚香修改他人容颜,无论男女老幼、高矮胖瘦,均由他随心妆扮。声、色、形、影、态,皆如海市蜃楼般空幻迷离;绝美的容颜和惊艳的技艺,都足以颠倒万千众生。人之于他,不过是一段又一段可供赁香的故事;他之于人,却直如主宰命运的翻云覆雨手。他神秘,他美丽,他古灵精怪,他倾国容颜下有一颗慈悲、坚定、从容的心。那是隐在暗处、没在眉眼间的力量,那是与强大的朝廷及江湖邪恶势力对抗的豪情,那是紫府那些神秘人们一直努力跟随的原因。