登陆注册
19408000000128

第128章

Certain persons have interrogated the author as to why there was such a demand for these tales that no year passes without his giving an instalment of them, and why he has lately taken to writing commas mixed up with bad syllables, at which the ladies publicly knit their brows, and have put to him other questions of a like character.

The author declares that these treacherous words, cast like pebbles in his path, have touched him in the very depths of his heart, and he is sufficiently cognisant of his duty not to fail to give to his special audience in this prologue certain reasons other than the preceding ones, because it is always necessary to reason with children until they are grown up, understand things, and hold their tongues; and because he perceives many mischievous fellows among the crowd of noisy people, who ignore at pleasure the real object of these volumes.

In the first place know, that if certain virtuous ladies--I say virtuous because common and low class women do not read these stories, preferring those that are never published; on the contrary, other citizens' wives and ladies, of high respectability and godliness, although doubtless disgusted with the subject-matter, read them piously to satisfy an evil spirit, and thus keep themselves virtuous.

Do you understand, my good reapers of horns? It is better to be deceived by the tale of a book than cuckolded through the story of a gentleman. You are saved the damage by this, poor fools! besides which, often your lady becomes enamoured, is seized with fecund agitations to your advantage, raised in her by the present book.

Therefore do these volumes assist to populate the land and maintain it in mirth, honour and health. I say mirth, because much is to be derived from these tales. I say honour, because you save your nest from the claws of that youthful demon named cuckoldom in the language of the Celts. I say health, because this book incites that which was prescribed by the Church of Salerno, for the avoidance of cerebral plethora. Can you derive a like proof in any other typographically blackened portfolios? Ha! ha! where are the books that make children?

Think! Nowhere. But you will find a glut of children making books which beget nothing but weariness.

But to continue. Now be it known that when ladies, of a virtuous nature and a talkative turn of mind, converse publicly on the subject of these volumes, a great number of them, far from reprimanding the author, confess that they like him very much, esteem him a valiant man, worthy to be a monk in the Abbey of Theleme. For as many reasons as there are stars in the heavens, he does not drop the style which he has adopted in these said tales, but lets himself be vituperated, and keeps steadily on his way, because noble France is a woman who refuses to yield, crying, twisting about, and saying, "No, no, never! Oh, sir, what are you going to do? I won't let you; you'd rumple me."

And when the volume is done and finished, all smiles, she exclaims, "Oh, master, are there any more to come?"

You may take it for granted that the author is a merry fellow, who troubles himself little about the cries, tears and tricks of the lady you call glory, fashion, or public favour, for he knows her to be a wanton who would put up with any violence. He knows that in France her war-cry is, Mount Joy! A fine cry indeed, but one which certain writers have disfigured, and which signifies, "Joy it is not of the earth, it is there; seize it, otherwise good-bye." The author has this interpretation from Rabelais, who told it to him. If you search history, has France ever breathed a word when she was joyous mounted, bravely mounted, passionately mounted, mounted and out of breath? She goes furiously at everything, and likes this exercise better than drinking. Now, do you not see that these volumes are French, joyfully French, wildly French, French before, French behind, French to the backbone. Back then, curs! strike up the music; silence, bigots! advance my merry wags, my little pages, put your soft hands into the ladies' hands and tickle them in the middle--of the hand of course.

Ha! ha! these are high sounding and peripatetic reasons, or the author knows nothing of sound and the philosophy of Aristotle. He has on his side the crown of France and the oriflamme of the king and Monsieur St. Denis, who, having lost his head, said "Mount-my-Joy!" Do you mean to say, you quadrupeds, that the word is wrong? No. It was certainly heard by a great many people at the time; but in these days of deep wretchedness you believe nothing concerning the good old saints.

同类推荐
  • On Being and Essence

    On Being and Essence

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 阿毗达磨界身足论

    阿毗达磨界身足论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 张忠敏公遗集

    张忠敏公遗集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 续墨客挥犀

    续墨客挥犀

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 六菩萨名亦当诵持经

    六菩萨名亦当诵持经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 逆刃神行:叛神时代

    逆刃神行:叛神时代

    命运不是不可逆的,前提是你有逆转它的力量和决心
  • 风云之天碑传奇

    风云之天碑传奇

    父亲?是谁?杜义无数次的问过自己的娘亲!可得到的回答永远是你长大后娘会告诉你!没等杜义长大!村子惨遭屠村之祸!而杜义!只能将仇恨深埋心底!可一次意外!杜义得知将自己抚养长大的人并不是自己的生母!而且还是这个抚养自己长大的人剥脱了自己原本应该更快乐的童年!可恨!可怎能恨的起来!!杜义开始有些迷茫!回首来路!空无一人!前路是否!!孤独依旧!只叹人生途中多坎坷!!证神路上多悲歌!只求万变不改赤子心!!替天行道除妖魔!
  • 冲锋枪科技知识(下)

    冲锋枪科技知识(下)

    不论什么武器,都是用于攻击的工具,具有威慑和防御的作用,自古具有巨大的神秘性,是广大军事爱好者的最爱。
  • 绝品召唤师

    绝品召唤师

    她,一个只求逍遥自在的小丫头,在迫害之后,翻涌起一次次反杀。龙游逆鳞,触之必杀!他,一个身份尊贵神秘的贵公子,在一场暗杀之后与她相逢,那一刻的无奈潦倒,成为了唯一一个占有她心底最大位置的人。一场场厮杀,一场场暗算,一次次命悬一线,最后的真相撕开,谁有勇气面对那艰辛的未来?
  • 蜀山奇缘

    蜀山奇缘

    小说以虚构的神话时代为背景,通过当时的恩怨,对神仙,妖魔进行描写,展示一幅波澜壮阔的离奇画卷。
  • 冷酷少爷vs野蛮女友

    冷酷少爷vs野蛮女友

    第一次见面,她泼了他一盆脏水,小餐馆的服务员得罪豪门大少爷;第二次见面,她泼了他一桶油漆,大少爷许诺一定好好收拾她;大少爷上门逼婚,小女孩儿不嫁也得嫁;婚礼前一天,梦中情人归来,让她痛彻心扉;本想就此认命,可是婚礼上,新郎却和情人离开,仇恨被激起,报复便开始了。为了尊严,她调教恶魔丈夫,智斗无耻小三,野蛮女友尽显本色。在她最危难时,他却忘记了她是谁。失望,背叛,危险,伤害,种种挫败一波三折······她最终选择远离,再见时,他却即将再为人夫。谷梁多多忍无可忍“好小子,竟敢趁我不在做这种事,看我怎么收拾你。”野蛮女友再度现身,上演夺夫大战······
  • 重生西游之大唐皇族

    重生西游之大唐皇族

    新书《一剑惊雷》正式上传了!求支持!新书一剑惊雷拜求收藏、点击和推荐,大梦泣的人品和质量毋庸置疑啊。我可以复制一切东西,我法力低微,但是可以复制百万符篆,我虽不会炼丹,却可以复制无穷丹药,我不炼法器,却可以复制他人法器为我所用。
  • 倾世魔妃:邪魅王爷霸道宠

    倾世魔妃:邪魅王爷霸道宠

    她出生在一个极为偏僻的小村庄,自幼学习医术,绝美的笑容用再美妙的词汇都描写不出它的令人陶醉。他生于皇家,地位尊贵,从小博览群书,邪魅的俊脸用再优雅的气质都说不出它的令人心醉。偶然遇见,缘起不灭,她救他一命,他付她真心,她予他温柔,他为她舍命,她椅栏望他,他隔山助她,她让他陶醉,他让她心碎,她不奢望他,他只想娶她。“王爷,若我愿嫁与你,你可否许我一生一世一双人?”
  • 复仇尊者

    复仇尊者

    罗辰,是罗家唯一一位幸免于十年前罗家惨灭的人,也是昔日罗家的少家主,当年他的爷爷寻到两件神器——轮回天盘和鸿蒙戒,从而引发了罗家惨案。他凭借戒指里的极品功法苦修十年,终于在十五岁时离开太行山脉,创立了问剑宗,在三兄弟的帮助下亲手屠杀了当年参与灭罗家的仇人
  • 感想与风景

    感想与风景

    《感想与风景》是日本现代著名作家横光利一的游记随笔集。所选作品多以奇异的修辞和绚丽的词藻直观地暴露内在的感性,极富感染力,精致周到而委婉,又不乏深度。