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第12章 MR.LENOX'S YOUNG BROTHER(1)

Mr.Lenox's young brother met the party on the Oxford platform.He was accompanied by two of his friends, who were dressed in grey flannels and straw hats, and were smoking very large and beautiful pipes.Mr.Lenox's young brother introduced these friends as Fizzy and Shrimp, and then they packed themselves into three hansoms and drove off.

Mr.Lenox's young brother led the way with Janet and Mary.Fizzy (at least, Hester thought it was Fizzy, but it may have been Shrimp) came next with Hester, Horace, and Gregory; and then came Shrimp (unless it was Fizzy)with Robert and Jack.

Oxford hansoms are the worst in the world, but seldom has a ride been more delightful.The three hosts pointed out the colleges as they passed, until they came, far too soon, to the Mitre, where they were to sleep.

"Now take your things upstairs and make sure where your rooms are, and tidy up if you want to," said Mr.Lenox's young brother, "and then hop down, and we'll take you to see the caravan, and show you about a little, and perhaps go on the river; and in the evening we're going to have supper in my rooms.

Fizzy's going to conjure, and perhaps we'll have charades."These words made tidying up an even simpler matter than usual, and the party started off.

Kink, it seems, had reached Oxford that morning, and was at the Green Man, where the Slowcoach was an object of extraordinary interest to the neighbourhood.They found him seated on the top step reading the paper, while forty-five children (at least) stared at him.Diogenes lay at the foot of the steps.

Kink was very glad to see them.No, he said, he hadn't had any adventures exactly, but driving a caravan was no work for a modest man who wished for a quiet life among vegetables.

"This," he said, waving his pipe at the increasing crowd, "is nothing.You should have see them at Beaconsfield and High Wycombe.They began by thinking I was Lord John Sanger, and when they were satisfied that Iwasn't, they made sure I was a Cheap Jack with gold watches for a shilling each.""How does it go, Kink?" Robert asked.

"It goes all right," said Kink, "but the crockery wants muffling.You can't hear yourself think when you trot.""And Diogenes?"

"Diogenes," said Kink, "is a masterpiece.He begins to growl at tramps when they're half a mile away.Why is it, I wonder," Kink added, "that dogs can't abide ragged clothes? This Oxford, they tell me, "is a clever place.Iwonder if anyone here can explain that?"

Mr.Lenox's young brother and his friends had now to be shown the Slowcoach, which they pronounced "top hole," and then Moses was inspected in his stable; and, this being done, they were ready for the river--or, rather, for the ices at a pastrycook's shop in the High Street--called the High--which were, to precede the river.

Then they all trooped down to the boats and had a perfect hour's rowing;and then they explored Oxford a little, and saw Tom Quad at Christ Church (or "The House," as it is called), and were shown the rooms in which the author of "Alice in Wonderland" lived for so many years; and so right up through the city to Magdalen Grove, where the deer live, and Magdalen Tower, on the top of which the May Day carols are sung.

Mr.Lenox's young brother lived in rooms outside his college; he would not enter the college until next term.They were in Oriel Lane, and exceedingly comfortable, with at least twenty pipes in a pipe-rack on the wall, and at least thirty photographs of his favourite actresses, chiefly Pauline Chase, and five cricket-bats in the corner, and about forty walking-sticks, and a large number of puzzles of the "Pigs in Clover" type, which nearly drove Gregory mad while supper was being prepared.

The preparation consisted merely of the entrance of one man after another carrying silver dishes; for everything was cold, although exceedingly sumptuous and solid.There were chickens all covered with a beautiful thick whitewash, on which little hearts and stars cut out of truffles were sprinkled.There was a tongue all over varnish, like the dainty foot of a giant Cinderella.There were custards and tarts and jellies.There were also bottles exactly like champagne bottles, which, however, contained ginger ale, and for Mr.Lenox's young brother and his friends there were silver tankards of beer.It was, in short, not a supper, but, as Mary Rotheram expressed it, using her favourite adjective at the moment, a supreme banquet.

Then another friend, with spectacles, called the Snarker, came in, and they began.Mr.Lenox's young brother was a very attentive host, and made everyone eat too much.Then he made a speech to propose the health of the Slowcoaches, as he called them, and to wish them a prosperous journey.

"That you will all be happy," he said, very gravely, in conclusion, "is our earnest wish.But the one thing which my friends and I desire more than any other--and I assure you that they are with me most cordially in this sentiment (aren't you, Fizzy? aren't you, Shrimp? aren't you, Snarker?)--the one thing that we desire more than any other is, that you may never be run in for exceeding the speed limit." This was a very successful joke.

After supper came Fizzy's conjuring tricks, which were not very bewildering to children who had once had a real conjurer from the Stores, as these had, and then a charade played by Mary, Horace, Fizzy, and Shrimp for the others to guess.

The first act represented a motorist (Fizzy) who ran over and killed an old woman (Mary), and was arrested by a policeman (Horace), and fined eighteenpence by a magistrate (Shrimp).

The second was a cockney scene in which two costers (Fizzy and Shrimp) took their girls (Mary and Horace) to Hampstead Heath to 'ave fun.

The third was Henry VIII.(Shrimp) receiving Anne of Cleves (Fizzy) and her Maid of Honour (Mary), and telling Wolsey (Horace) to prepare the divorce, because she was a " great Flanders mare."You see the whole word, of course--Car-'ave-Anne.

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