My dear P----,You have been very kind to me in this business;but Ifear even your indulgence for my infirmities is beginning to fail.To what a state am I reduced,and for what?For fancying a little artful vixen to be an angel and a saint,because she affected to look like one,to hide her rank thoughts and deadly purposes.Has she not murdered me under the mask of the tenderest friendship?And why?Because I have loved her with unutterable love,and sought to make her my wife.You say it is my own "outrageous conduct"that has estranged her:nay,Ihave been TOO GENTLE with her.I ask you first in candour whether the ambiguity of her behaviour with respect to me,sitting and fondling a man (circumstanced as I was)sometimes for half a day together,and then declaring she had no love for him beyond common regard,and professing never to marry,was not enough to excite my suspicions,which the different exposures from the conversations below-stairs were not calculated to allay?I ask you what you yourself would have felt or done,if loving her as I did,you had heard what I did,time after time?
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