"I don't know.Perhaps I shall be sent on further, so that I shall have no opportunity of saying good-bye to you.""In other words, you don't mean to see me again? You are silent.
You cannot have the heart to deceive me.Must I remind you that you have sworn to belong to me, if you survive this war?""If I survive it--yes!"
The tone of his reply struck her like a blow.She had no need to look at him again, to know what was passing in his mind.Now for the first time she understood that there was no further hope for her.Heideck had spoken the truth, when he said he still loved her, and the horror which he felt at her conduct did not, according to his conscience, release him from his word.But as he at the same time felt absolutely certain that he could never make a traitress to her country his wife, his idea of the honour of a man and officer drove him to the only course which could extricate him from this fearful conflict of duties.
He had sworn to marry her, if he survived the war.And since he could no more keep his oath than break it, he had at this moment decided to put an end to the struggle by seeking death, which his calling made it so easy for him to find.With the keen insight of a woman in love Edith read his mind like an open book.She knew him so well that she never for a moment cherished the illusion that she could alter his mind by prayers or tears.She knew that this man was ready to sacrifice everything for her--everything save honour.Her mind had never been fuller of humble admiration than at the moment when the knowledge that she had lost him for ever spread a dark veil over all her sunny hopes of the future.
She did not say a word; and when her silence caused him to turn his face again towards her, she saw an expression of unutterable pain in his features, usually so well controlled.Then she also felt the growing power of a great and courageous resolution.Her mind rose from the low level of selfish passion to the height of self-sacrificing renunciation.But it had never been her way to do by halves what she had once determined to carry out.What was to be done admitted no cowardly delay, no tender leave-taking must allow Heideck to guess that a knowledge of his intentions had decided her course of action.
With that heroic self-command of which, perhaps, only a woman is capable in such circumstances, she forced herself to appear outwardly calm and composed.
"Then I am no longer anxious about our future, my friend," she said after a long silence, smiling painfully."I will not detain you any longer now; for I know that your duties as a soldier must stand first.I am happy that I have been permitted to see you again.
Not to hinder your doing your duty in this serious time of war, Igive you your freedom.Perhaps your love will some day bring you back to me of your own accord.And now, farewell."Her sudden resolution and the calmness with which she resigned herself to this second separation must have seemed almost incomprehensible to Heideck after what had passed.But her beautiful face betrayed so little of the desperate hopelessness she felt, that, after a brief hesitation, he regarded this singular change in the same light as the numerous other surprises to which her mysterious nature had already treated him.She had spoken with such quiet firmness, that he could no longer look upon her resolution as the suggestion of a perverse or angry whim.
"For God's sake, Edith, what do you intend to do?""I shall try to return to Dover to-morrow.I should only be in your way here.""In that case, we should not see each other again before you leave?""You said yourself that there was little chance of that.""I am not my own master, and this information--""No excuse is necessary; no regard for me should hinder you in the performance of your official duties.Once again then, good-bye, my dear, my beloved friend! May Heaven protect you!"She flung herself on his breast and kissed him; but only for a few seconds did her soft arm linger round his neck.She did not wish to give way, and yet she felt that she would not be able to control herself much longer.She hurriedly picked up her oilskin cape from the floor and seized her fisherman's hat.Heideck fervently desired to say something affectionate and tender, but his throat seemed choked as it were by an invisible hand; he could only utter, in a voice that sounded cold and dry, the words, "Farewell, my love! farewell!"When he heard the door close behind her, he started up impetuously, as if he meant to rush after her and call her back.But after the first step he stood still and pressed his clenched left hand upon his violently beating heart.His face, as if turned to stone, wore an expression of inflexible resolution, and the corners of his mouth were marked by two deep, sharp lines, as if within this single hour he had aged ten years.
