登陆注册
19971100000025

第25章

Praps I'm bearin down too hard upon Cuffy.Cum to think on it, I am.He woodn't be sich a infernal noosanse if white peple would let him alone.He mite indeed be interestin.And now Ithink of it, why can't the white peple let him alone.What's the good of continnerly stirrin him up with a ten-foot pole?

He isn't the sweetest kind of Perfoomery when in a natral stait.

Feller Sitterzens, the Union's in danger.The black devil Disunion is trooly here, starein us all squarely in the face!

We must drive him back.Shall we make a 2nd Mexico of ourselves? Shall we sell our birthrite for a mess of potash?

Shall one brother put the knife to the throat of anuther brother? Shall we mix our whisky with each other's blud?

Shall the star spangled Banner be cut up into dishcloths?

Standin here in this here Skoolhouse, upon my nativ shor so to speak, I anser--Nary!

Oh you fellers who air raisin this row, & who in the fust place startid it, I'm 'shamed of you.The Showman blushes for you, from his boots to the topmost hair upon his wenerable hed.

Feller Sitterzens: I am in the Sheer & Yeller leaf.I shall peg out 1 of these dase.But while I do stop here I shall stay in the Union.I know not what the supervizers of Baldinsville may conclude to do, but for one, I shall stand by the Stars &Stripes.Under no circumstances whatsomever will I sesesh.

Let every Stait in the Union sesesh & let Palmetter flags flote thicker nor shirts on Square Baxter's close line, still will Istick to the good old flag.The country may go to the devil, but I won't! And next Summer when I start out on my campane with my Show, wharever I pitch my little tent, you shall see floatin prowdly from the center pole thereof the Amerikan Flag, with nary a star wiped out, nary a stripe less, but the same old flag that has allers flotid thar! & the price of admishun will be the same it allers was--15 cents, children half price.

Feller Sitterzens, I am dun.Accordinly I squatted.

1.13.WAX FIGURES VS.SHAKESPEARE.

ONTO THE WING--1859.

Mr.Editor.

I take my Pen in hand to inform yu that I'm in good helth and trust these few lines will find yu injoyin the same blessins.

I wood also state that I'm now on the summir kampane.As the Poit sez--ime erflote, ime erflote On the Swift rollin tied An the Rovir is free.

Bizness is scacely middlin, but Sirs I manige to pay for my foode and raiment puncktooally and without no grumblin.The barked arrers of slandur has bin leviled at the undersined moren onct sins heze bin into the show bizness, but I make bold to say no man on this footstule kan troothfully say I ever ronged him or eny of his folks.I'm travelin with a tent, which is better nor hirin hauls.My show konsists of a serious of wax works, snakes, a paneramy kalled a Grand Movin Diarea of the War in the Crymear, komic songs and the Cangeroo, which larst little cuss continners to konduct hisself in the most outrajus stile.I started out with the idear of makin my show a grate Moral Entertainment, but I'm kompeled to sware so much at that air infurnal Kangeroo that I'm frade this desine will be flustratid to some extent.And while speakin of morrality, remines me that sum folks turn up their nosis at shows like mine, sayin they is low and not fit to be patrernized by peplpeple of high degree.Sirs, I manetane that this is infernul nonsense.I manetane that wax figgers is more elevatin than awl the plays ever wroten.Take Shakespeer for instunse.Peple think heze grate things, but I kontend heze quite the reverse to the kontrary.What sort of sense is thare to King Leer, who goze round cussin his darters, chawin hay and throin straw at folks, and larfin like a silly old koot and makin a ass of hisself ginerally? Thare's Mrs.Mackbeth--sheze a nise kind of woomon to have round ain't she, a puttin old Mack, her husband, up to slayin Dunkan with a cheeze knife, while heze payin a frendly visit to their house.O its hily morral, I spoze, when she larfs wildly and sez, "gin me the daggurs--Ile let his bowels out," or wurds to that effeck--Isay, this is awl, strickly, propper I spoze? That Jack Fawlstarf is likewise a immoral old cuss, take him how ye may, and Hamlick is as crazy as a loon.Thare's Richurd the Three, peple think heze grate things, but I look upon him in the lite of a monkster.He kills everybody he takes a noshun to in kold blud, and then goze to sleep in his tent.Bimeby he wakes up and yells for a hoss so he kan go orf and kill some more peple.

If he isent a fit spesserman for the gallers then I shood like to know whare you find um.Thare's Iargo who is more ornery nor pizun.See how shameful he treated that hily respecterble injun gentlemun, Mister Otheller, makin him for to beleeve his wife was too thick with Casheo.Obsarve how Iargo got Casheo drunk as a biled owl on corn whiskey in order to karry out his sneekin desines.See how he wurks Mister Otheller's feelins up so that he goze and makes poor Desdemony swaller a piller which cawses her deth.But I must stop.At sum futur time I shall continner my remarks on the drammer in which I shall show the varst supeeriority of wax figgers and snakes over theater plays, in a interlectooal pint of view.

Very Respectively yures, A WARD, T.K.

同类推荐
  • 落帆后赋得二绝

    落帆后赋得二绝

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 琴体说

    琴体说

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 华严还源观科

    华严还源观科

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 十四经发挥

    十四经发挥

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 江邻幾杂志

    江邻幾杂志

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 古秘诡录

    古秘诡录

    一桩神秘的凶杀案,引出罪恶的起源;一只诡异的断手,迫使我踏上了追寻着一条古路的人生。神秘的墓群埋葬着何人,地狱的大门真的存在吗,真灵古凶是否真的存在,无尽的传说是否只是先民的幻想。当最古老的歌谣唱起,一切的时代终将落幕。这本古秘诡录记载了你们想象不到的真相。
  • 人道之聊斋

    人道之聊斋

    鬼狐有性格,笑骂皆文章,这是属于聊斋的故事。书生百无一用?不对!这是一个书生行走与大千世界的故事。人族艰辛,国事艰难。这是一曲赞歌,人族与命运相争的赞歌。
  • 白夜行

    白夜行

    家门前多了口红棺材,装的是被钉死的娘……我娘因为我的嫌弃而离家出走,整整四年杳无音讯。四年过后,我家门口诡异多了口大红棺材,里面装的是已经被钉死的娘。
  • 色若

    色若

    这些年总有些事情是你是不愿再提,有些人你不想再见了,有个人曾经对不起你,也许你想过要杀了他。但是你不敢,或者你觉得不值,又或者你不舍。其实,杀人……很容易的。
  • 当特摄撞上现实

    当特摄撞上现实

    特摄片是我们童年的回忆,我们也曾想过自己成为特摄片里面的英雄,然而这终究只是个梦而已。至少这本书的主角是这么想的。但是有一天,特摄突然成了现实,怪物入侵,成为英雄保护世界,还是当个普普通通的人,这是选择!而这选择或许会搭上性命,我们又该何去何从呢?直到那一天,一切都成了现实,没有办法再逃避了。
  • 阳光下的守望(让学生感受亲情的故事全集)

    阳光下的守望(让学生感受亲情的故事全集)

    亲情如一首永远唱不倦的老歌,古老的曲调中饱含浓浓的真爱;亲情似一杯淡淡的绿茶,虽不浓郁但却散发着淡雅的醇香;亲情似大海里的一叶小舟,于惊涛骇浪中承载着风雨同舟、不离不弃的誓言。拥有亲情,便拥有了世间一切的美好,让这浓浓的爱、悠悠的情化作一缕春风,吹来桃红柳绿,吹开心底似锦的繁花……在最无助的人生路上,亲情是最持久的动力,给予我们无私的帮助和依靠;在最寂寞的情感路上,亲情是最真诚的陪伴,让我们感受到无比的温馨和安慰;在最无奈的十字路口,亲情是最清晰的路标,指引我们成功到达目标。
  • 逆天皇族

    逆天皇族

    一个玄幻的世界,究竟谁对谁错,一句错误的誓言,就让女子以身相许,经过轮回的洗礼,到底能否知晓命运的蹉跎,一切的一切,到底是轮回的折磨,还是无尽的循环,高深莫测的故事情节,扣人心弦的主角故事,一切尽在逆天皇族,修仙成佛一念间,我又为何不愿牵。战小狂,本是冷府家丁,但是阴差阳错的便成为了冷梦的未婚夫,随后的种种奇遇,都显现出他根本就不是天之骄子,轮回的捉弄,让他身心备受疲惫,本应该花季的年龄,却显得那般的让人无奈,这一切的故事,都从这里,开始。
  • 小僧不知

    小僧不知

    富可敌国的杨家唯一的儿子,自小生病便养在寺庙,长大后居然想做一辈子和尚。落到贫穷人家的穿越女,为了生计,不得不去诱骗单纯无知的小和尚。
  • 星空下的仰望

    星空下的仰望

    一个弱者成为强者的故事,一个小人物成为大人物的成长史,一个武者横行,武学破天的大世界。请看榨菜作品《星空下的仰望》……
  • 灵魂与风之语

    灵魂与风之语

    智慧刚诞生之初,他学会了沟通天地,遂向天地借能力,均被允许不遵守万物法则。分给了不同的人、动物、植物、器。你如何来这证明你所看到的世界和他人一样?就如同你看到的绿色是绿色,他人看到的绿色却是红色,他并不知道自己与别人不同,那么又如何让他知道自己于别人的不同呢?——公厉1800年南国著名人类学家阿拉图手记叶天将手里的教科书摔到桌子上:“关我什么事,我只想回家。”