登陆注册
20029700000019

第19章 CHAPTER III (3)

To Mrs. Gaskell, he would often bring his new ideas, a process that many of his later friends will understand and, in their own cases, remember. With the girls, he had 'constant fierce wrangles,' forcing them to reason out their thoughts and to explain their prepossessions; and I hear from Miss Gaskell that they used to wonder how he could throw all the ardour of his character into the smallest matters, and to admire his unselfish devotion to his parents. Of one of these wrangles, I have found a record most characteristic of the man. Fleeming had been laying down his doctrine that the end justifies the means, and that it is quite right 'to boast of your six men-servants to a burglar or to steal a knife to prevent a murder'; and the Miss Gaskells, with girlish loyalty to what is current, had rejected the heresy with indignation. From such passages-at-arms, many retire mortified and ruffled; but Fleeming had no sooner left the house than he fell into delighted admiration of the spirit of his adversaries. From that it was but a step to ask himself 'what truth was sticking in their heads'; for even the falsest form of words (in Fleeming's life-long opinion) reposed upon some truth, just as he could 'not even allow that people admire ugly things, they admire what is pretty in the ugly thing.' And before he sat down to write his letter, he thought he had hit upon the explanation. 'I fancy the true idea,' he wrote, 'is that you must never do yourself or anyone else a moral injury - make any man a thief or a liar - for any end'; quite a different thing, as he would have loved to point out, from never stealing or lying. But this perfervid disputant was not always out of key with his audience. One whom he met in the same house announced that she would never again be happy. 'What does that signify?' cried Fleeming. 'We are not here to be happy, but to be good.' And the words (as his hearer writes to me) became to her a sort of motto during life.

From Fairbairn's and Manchester, Fleeming passed to a railway survey in Switzerland, and thence again to Mr. Penn's at Greenwich, where he was engaged as draughtsman. There in 1856, we find him in 'a terribly busy state, finishing up engines for innumerable gun- boats and steam frigates for the ensuing campaign.' From half-past eight in the morning till nine or ten at night, he worked in a crowded office among uncongenial comrades, 'saluted by chaff, generally low personal and not witty,' pelted with oranges and apples, regaled with dirty stories, and seeking to suit himself with his surroundings or (as he writes it) trying to be as little like himself as possible. His lodgings were hard by, 'across a dirty green and through some half-built streets of two-storied houses'; he had Carlyle and the poets, engineering and mathematics, to study by himself in such spare time as remained to him; and there were several ladies, young and not so young, with whom he liked to correspond. But not all of these could compensate for the absence of that mother, who had made herself so large a figure in his life, for sorry surroundings, unsuitable society, and work that leaned to the mechanical. 'Sunday,' says he, 'I generally visit some friends in town and seem to swim in clearer water, but the dirty green seems all the dirtier when I get back. Luckily I am fond of my profession, or I could not stand this life.' It is a question in my mind, if he could have long continued to stand it without loss. 'We are not here to be happy, but to be good,' quoth the young philosopher; but no man had a keener appetite for happiness than Fleeming Jenkin. There is a time of life besides when apart from circumstances, few men are agreeable to their neighbours and still fewer to themselves; and it was at this stage that Fleeming had arrived, later than common and even worse provided. The letter from which I have quoted is the last of his correspondence with Frank Scott, and his last confidential letter to one of his own sex. 'If you consider it rightly,' he wrote long after, 'you will find the want of correspondence no such strange want in men's friendships. There is, believe me, something noble in the metal which does not rust though not burnished by daily use.' It is well said; but the last letter to Frank Scott is scarcely of a noble metal. It is plain the writer has outgrown his old self, yet not made acquaintance with the new. This letter from a busy youth of three and twenty, breathes of seventeen: the sickening alternations of conceit and shame, the expense of hope IN VACUO, the lack of friends, the longing after love; the whole world of egoism under which youth stands groaning, a voluntary Atlas.

同类推荐
  • 太上黄庭内景玉经

    太上黄庭内景玉经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 十剂表

    十剂表

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 楚曲十种临潼斗宝

    楚曲十种临潼斗宝

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 陈莲舫先生医案

    陈莲舫先生医案

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 侠义风月传

    侠义风月传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 拉风宝宝:总裁爹地靠边站(全本)

    拉风宝宝:总裁爹地靠边站(全本)

    是谁说女子非得三从四德相夫教子的?左攸若就是个例外!大学期间,无恶不作!无男不拐!拐得还都是美男!某月某日某个夜晚某个意外,导致恶女进错房,上错床,却木有被吃干抹净!我勒个去,天底下居然还有这么坐怀不乱的男人?当她姿态万千地走进上司的办公室,当场石化!他他他……?第二次,进对房,上对床,结果却被吃干抹净了!木天理了啊?!一个月后,一纸证明她怀孕的化验单导致她被保守的父母扫地出门!五年后,恶女华丽归来,身边带着一个拉风宝宝!可貌似这个地方真的和她八字不合!一回来,就衰神缠身!酒店电梯门口,三人狭路相逢!一大一小两个男人大眼瞪小眼!某女见势不妙,早就溜之大吉!奈何,跑的了妈咪跑不了儿子!【让人抓狂】:某日,某女正在做饭,门铃响了。宝宝:妈咪,有人找。某女:宝贝,你先招呼着啊。宝宝开了门,发现是某男,瞟了一眼,砰一声甩上门。某女从厨房探出头:宝贝,谁啊?宝宝(镇定状):送外卖的!某女:那人呢?宝宝:发现送错了又走了!门外某男:……(极度抓狂中)【谁更精明】:某夜,某男趁某女洗澡期间,伺机接近宝宝。某男:宝贝,你喜欢美女吗?宝宝:(⊙o⊙)嗯?先生你想问什么?某男:你不是说害怕一个人睡觉吗?以后我和你妈咪一起睡,我得为你找个伴啊!宝宝(→_→):你是为我着想还是想拐走我妈咪?某男o(╯□╰)o:……【何为公平】:在某男和某女的关系终于缓和一点之后,某男和宝宝在讨论娶谁当老婆的事情。宝宝:先生你想娶我妈咪做老婆?某男(郑重点头):是的!宝宝(蹙眉):那我怎么办?某男(摸了摸宝宝的头):你以后长大了也会娶老婆的。宝宝(恍然大悟):那我想娶你妈咪。某男(嘴角抽搐):为什么?你不可以娶我妈咪,那是你奶奶!宝宝(→_→):你都可以娶我妈咪,我为什么不可以娶你妈咪?★温馨提醒:①:有些情节纯属瞎扯,如有雷同,那人估计也是瞎扯!②:没有最狗血,只有更狗血,抽风是常有的事,各位千万要淡定啊蛋定!③:如果你笑了,想继续看下去,请点击↓↓↓【加入书架】,O(∩_∩)O谢谢!
  • 换脸妖姬:丑女变身

    换脸妖姬:丑女变身

    她是一个丑女,从小就受到父母的冷落.因为幼时一个承诺,他皆尽所能为她寻到引退的“鬼医”为她换了脸,那么变漂亮后的的她,命运就真会因此改变吗?面对自己的恩人,面对自己的太子未婚夫,她该选择谁呢?
  • 樱茉贵族学院

    樱茉贵族学院

    她,苏瑾儿,被爱伤的死去活来,无意间却被三个妖孽般的男子穷追不舍,到底谁才会抱得美人归呢!他,冰寒熙,腹黑霸道,却只对苏瑾儿感兴趣。他,冷梓妖,妖娆冰山,倾心于俺们滴苏瑾儿不放手。他,染夜,温柔可爱,对瑾儿各种撒娇卖萌。嘿嘿嘿嘿
  • 绝世萌神之三流女皇

    绝世萌神之三流女皇

    我只是个安安稳稳的公民,为何因为只狗被莫名其妙一巴掌扇到别人肚子里回炉重造?为何生下来就是只桃子?你有见过桃子当女皇么。好不容易成人还要处理叛乱。这个男尊女卑的国家为何会变成女尊男卑,以及双生魂的秘密到底该如何解开。我的前世带给我的震惊。
  • 天灵之王

    天灵之王

    时空裂缝破碎,域外邪族大举侵略。天界惨遭蹂躏。于是百道之祖,尽皆成神,护我上域天界。修行的世界里,百道皆存,变化万千。仙之道,万古不老,容颜永驻;王之道,百战成王,一统天下;神之道,万法无立,踏破轮回;魔之道,一屠寰宇,唯我顿尊......邪族不灭,天界难安。数万年后,再无道祖突破成神,这个世界将有谁来守护......
  • 五言排律

    五言排律

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 临尘缘哀

    临尘缘哀

    豆蔻年华无意间的相遇,神灵存在的那座深山,以魂体存在世上的代号罗刹女王,沾满鲜血的双手,缓缓地触摸上他棱角分明的脸。他说:“缘儿,论今世,也只有你一个人是属于我的。”唇舌相交,只有说不尽的情感……他从未离开过她,一直都陪伴在她身边。直到最后才明白的她,持剑将他与悬崖隔绝。殂谢非终结,孤立船头细雨伴缠绵。此世唯为赶尽杀绝,与君不辞而别....只为那瞬间,化作尘埃伴君终年...[之前用藤缦的笔名发过而今仔细修改了一番主角名稍有变动]
  • 傲娇明星很大牌

    傲娇明星很大牌

    他被星探发现,从孤儿变成首席巨星,而她却成为了他星光道路上的绊脚石,他亲自开车送她离世,可她却凭借顽强的生命力活了下来。三年后,她逆袭成艺人总监,带领各大王牌经纪人及大牌艺人在娱乐圈里杀出了一条血路,当她站在娱乐圈鼎峰时,那个曾经宣布再也不回国的他,突然要回国发展,目的是为了帮助SMK公司打败她。而她,在SMK挖走了她旗下最红的艺人后,选择重新打造绯闻满天却背景雄厚的乔家二少,培养他成为国际巨星。可乔家二少这人脾气偶尔有点暴躁、狂拽、霸道,面对这样一个傲娇明星耍大牌,必须先哄,后骗,再诱惑,如果这些都不行,那就一巴掌下去直接了事!
  • 重生而来:纨绔大小姐

    重生而来:纨绔大小姐

    上一世她轻信外人,导致家产易主全族被杀却被安上叛国的罪名,看着曾经山盟海誓之人与闺蜜你侬我侬。如今她涅槃重生,只为报仇,你们不是勾搭成奸吗?我就提早让你们“相守白头”!不过重生而来,命运轨迹却与上辈子大不相同,那本与她毫无交集的人却赖上了她。【片段一】“我本是极恶之人”“巧了,我也并非良善之辈,看来你我天生一对,不在一起都对不起自己”“……”【片段二】“夫君,我一不小心就把你最喜欢的花瓶打碎了”“你可有受伤?下次小心点”“……”某手下内心咆哮:王爷上次公主不小心碰到你是怎么大发雷霆的!本以为重生而来她已无心,却因为他重新感受到心跳。他愿已一己之力得她之所想,圆她之所愿【男女主身心干净,1v1】
  • 日益重要的环境科学(科普知识大博览)

    日益重要的环境科学(科普知识大博览)

    要想成为一个有科学头脑的现代人,就要对你在这个世界上所见到的事物都问个“为什么”!科学的发展往往就始于那么一点点小小的好奇心。本丛书带你进行一次穿越时空的旅行,通过这次旅行,你将了解这些伟大的发明、发现的诞生过程,以及这些辉煌成果背后科学家刻苦钻研的惊心时刻。