登陆注册
20259800000080

第80章

"No, you must listen to me. Sit down." Barney obeyed her word and sat down. "Now, hear me, and hear me fairly. I am not going to say that Dick was free from blame, nor was Iola either. Whose was the greater I can't tell. They were both young and, to a certain extent, inexperienced in the ways of life. Circumstances threw them much together and on terms of almost brotherly and sisterly intimacy. That was a mistake. They ignored conventions that can never be safely ignored. Just at that time Dick's life was made hard for him. His Church had rejected him."

"Rejected him?"

"Yes, rejected him. He was refused license by the Presbytery, was branded as a heretic and outcast from work." Margaret's voice grew bitter. "Do you wonder that he grew hard? Perhaps they could not help it--I can't say--but he grew hard. Yes, and worse than that, grew away from his faith, from his friends, and from those things that keep men straight and strong. He grew weak. The hour of temptation came upon him. You and I have seen enough of that side of life to know what that means. He broke faith with you--no, not with you. He was loyal to you, but he broke faith with himself and with her. For a single moment, that moment at which you appeared, he yielded to passion, and bitterly, terribly, has he suffered since that moment. How terribly no one knows. He has tried to find you, but you would not be found. He wronged you, Barney, but you have made him and all of us suffer much." The voice that had gone on so bravely and so firmly here suddenly trembled and broke.

"Made you suffer!" cried Barney, with bitter scorn. "How can you speak of suffering? You have everything! I have lost all!"

"Everything?" echoed Margaret faintly. "Ah, Barney, how little you know! But, no matter, God has brought you together and you must not do this wicked thing. You must not continue to break our hearts."

"Break your hearts? Margaret, what's the use of words? I had a heart, too, and a brother whom I loved and trusted as myself, yes, more than myself, and--I had--Iola. All I have lost. My work satisfies me for a few months, but try as I can this awful thing hunts me down and drives me mad. There is nothing in life left for me. And there might have been much but for--"

"Stop, Barney!" cried Margaret impulsively. "There is much still left for you. God is good. How much better than we. You can't forgive a fellow-sinner. Oh, shame! But He forgives and forgets, and surely you ought to try--"

"Try! Try! Heavens above, Margaret! Try! Do you think I haven't tried? That thing is there! there!" smiting on his breast again.

"Can you tell me how to rid myself of it?"

"Yes, Barney, I think I can tell you. God's great goodness will do this for you. Listen," she said, putting up her hand to stay his words, "God is bringing a great joy to you to shame you and to soften you. Here, read this." She handed him Iola's letter, went to the window, and stood with her back to him, looking out upon the great sweeping valley below.

"Margaret!" The hoarse voice called her back to him. His hard, proud, sullen reserve was shattered, gone. His lips were quivering, his hands trembling. The girl was touched to the heart.

"Margaret," he cried brokenly, "what does this mean?" He was terribly shaken.

"It means that she wants you, that she needs you. Dick was going to-morrow to bring her back to you, Barney. That was his one desire."

"To bring her to me? To bring her back to me? Dick? Dear old boy! and I-- Oh, Margaret!" He put his trembling hands out to her. "Forgive me! God forgive me! Poor Dick! I'll see him!" He started toward the door. "No, not how," he cried, striving in vain to control himself. "I am mad! mad! For three long years I have carried this cursed thing in my heart! It's gone! It's gone, Margaret! Do you hear? It's gone!" He was shouting aloud. "I feel right toward Dick, my brother!"

"Hush, Barney dear," said the girl, tears running down her face, "you will wake him."

"Yes, yes," he cried, in an eager whisper, "I'll be careful. Poor old boy, he has suffered, too. Dear old Dick! And she wants me!

I'll go to-night! Yes, to-night! What's the date?" He tore at the envelope with trembling hands. The letter dropped to the floor. Margaret caught it up and opened it for him. "A month ago and more! Yes, I'll go to-night. Oh, Margaret, what a blasted fool I am! I can't get myself in hand." Suddenly he threw himself into his chair. "Here!" he ground out between his teeth, "get quiet!" He sat for a few moments absolutely still, gathering strength to command himself. At length he got himself in hand.

"No," he said in a quiet voice, "I shall not go tonight. I shall wait till Dick is better. Just now he must be kept quiet. In the morning I expect to see him very much himself. We can only wait and see."

Through the night they waited, Barney struggling mightily to hold himself in perfect control, Margaret quietly doing what was to be done, her whole spirit breathing of that self-forgetting love which finds its highest joy in the joy of another. At the break of day the nurse came to the door and found them still waiting.

"Mr. Boyle is awake and is asking for you, Miss Robertson."

"Let me go to him," cried Barney. "Don't fear." His voice was still vibrating, but his manner was calm and steady. He was master of himself again.

"Yes," said Margaret, "go to him." Then as the door closed she stood once more before the Gethsemane scene. "Thank God, thank God," she said softly, "for them the pain is over."

For half an hour she waited and then went up to the sickroom. She opened the door softly, went in and stood gazing till her eyes grew dim. On the pillow, face down, Barney's head lay close to Dick's, whose arm was thrown about his brother's neck, and on Dick's face shone a look of rapturous peace. As Margaret moved to leave the room Dick called her in a voice faint, but full of joy.

"Margaret," he said, a smile breaking like light through a dark cloud, "my head was broken, but I'd have all the bones in my body broken, just to have Barney set them. We're all right, eh, boy?"

Slowly Barney raised his face, tear-marked, worn, but radiant with a peace it had not known for many a day. "Yes, old chap," he said in a voice still tremulous in spite of all his self-command, "we're right again, and, please God, we'll keep so."

同类推荐
  • 七颂堂识小录

    七颂堂识小录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 太上洞真五星秘授经

    太上洞真五星秘授经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 玉燕姻缘全传

    玉燕姻缘全传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 乾元秘旨

    乾元秘旨

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 盘古至唐虞传

    盘古至唐虞传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 观自在菩萨说普贤陀罗尼经

    观自在菩萨说普贤陀罗尼经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 梦中少年王俊凯

    梦中少年王俊凯

    女主乐语汐、女主童姗姗与梦中王子王俊凯的邂逅
  • 圆满人生不等待

    圆满人生不等待

    季羡林老人说:“不完满才是人生”,说的是“人有悲欢离合,月有阴晴圆缺”,人生的许多追求都是以遗憾和缺失而结束的。然而,人生固然注定不圆满,但我们对圆满的追求却不应该停止。事实上,圆满与否都是相对的,虽然一帆风顺非常美好,但经历过风浪之后到达彼岸反而会更加收获一种成熟之美。问题的关键在于,面对人生的风浪,我们是否能够抓紧时间,勇往直前。本书精选百余篇人生哲理美文,就是要告诉大家:圆满的人生不等待,我们不能因为可能不圆满的结果而放弃追求,其实在不断追求、不断探索的过程中,你就能够享受到人生的满足与惬意。
  • 爱玛大陆

    爱玛大陆

    巴格穿越到了召唤师纵横睥睨的爱玛大陆脑子里多出了一个莫名其妙的系统,他发现自己不仅能够召唤出神兽,更能无限契约魔兽而且,尼玛,本来只是一个兽域召唤师的他,通过啪啪啪不仅能够领悟到妹纸召唤师的所有召唤咒语,更能召唤出妹纸召唤位面的召唤兽哎嘛,这到底是什么和什么?一不小心成了大陆唯一的全能位面召唤师!
  • 魂裂

    魂裂

    夜晚,郊外的一栋别墅里一个小女孩在不停的哭泣。她畏缩在一个小小的角落,眼睁睁的看着一个女人将尖刀刺入了自己父亲的胸膛,父亲的血液不停的流淌在地板上,小女孩的眼里满是害怕与惊恐。
  • 20岁定好位,30岁有地位

    20岁定好位,30岁有地位

    不做爱情中找不到自我的痴男怨女,不做职场中升职加薪两无望的“二类分子”,读懂自己定好位,用50分的努力换取100分的人生! 也许你不够聪明,不够漂亮,不够能干,不够可爱,不够……女人对自己永远是挑剔的,总有这样或那样的不满意,但是,作为女人,你一定具有作为女人与生俱来的天赋:良好的直觉,讲人情味,包容心强,抗压性好,有耐心,善于倾听,是理想的谈伴……在爱情、友情、职场、家庭生活中,善于运用自己作为女人的天赋优势,才能够牢牢掌控自己的幸福。
  • 王俊凯我会一直守护你

    王俊凯我会一直守护你

    一场爱恋,对于六个人来说,是噩梦?还是美梦?如果是噩梦,那么。他(她)们将会怎样?会被惊醒吗?还是继续把这个梦做下去。如果是美梦,那么结局圆满吗?……………………敬请期待王俊凯我会一直守护你。本小说纯属虚构,作者大大会比较忙,不怎么更文。如有雷同纯属巧合!
  • 命不改

    命不改

    遭遇险情能力觉醒,因此走入了不一样的路。命运早已将一切都安排好了,这是你的路,不管你会经历什么,你改不了。为什么是我?有时候,我们仿佛就像故事里面的人一样,一切都决定好了,甚至决定了你会怎么思考,没准此刻,故事外的那个人就正在想我现在应该说什么呢。
  • 芙蓉镇

    芙蓉镇

    中国当代文学最高奖项茅盾文学奖第一届获奖作品,同名电影由谢晋导演,刘晓庆、姜文主演。小说通过芙蓉镇上的女摊贩胡玉音、“右派分子”秦书田等人在“四清”到“文化大革命”的一系列运动中的遭遇,对中国50年代后期到70年代后期近20年的历史做了严肃的回顾和深刻的反思。芙蓉镇上的风风雨雨正是中国当代社会历程的缩影。作者采用近乎编年史的手法,通过众多人物的升沉荣辱表现了各式人物在历史面前的真实面目,同时发出了对人性的呼唤和对美好感情的讴歌。 而小说用个体的“性”心理动机来解释历史事件的意识和手法更是当代文学的一大突破。
  • 青梅竹马,去哪儿啊

    青梅竹马,去哪儿啊

    在这个世界上,大部分的青梅竹马,最后都绕到他人床前玩耍;大部分的两小无猜,都渐渐无法对彼此坦白。时光掩盖了太多秘密,埋藏了许多感情,直到曾经一起玩耍的他们终于再相聚——郝恬恬发现自己的生活开始乱套,为什么傅子衡的初恋女友叶雨笙会和张翊天在一起?为什么失联多年的吴霏突然出现在北京开始追自己?为什么一直把她当妹妹严厉管教的傅子衡会突然吻了她?青梅竹马的小伙伴,十年后的再度重逢,让当年埋葬的那些秘密开始一个接一个地浮出水面……