The notion that any other human being could conceivably obtain the slightest property rights in me is as preposterous, as ridiculous, as--what shall I say?--as the notion of your being taken out with a chain on your neck and sold by auction as a slave, down on the canal bridge.
I should be ashamed to be alive for another day, if any other thought were possible to me.""That is not the generally accepted view, I should think,"faltered Theron.
"No more is it the accepted view that young married Methodist ministers should sit out alone in the woods with red-headed Irish girls.No, my friend, let us find what the generally accepted views are, and as fast as we find them set our heels on them.
There is no other way to live like real human beings.
What on earth is it to me that other women crawl about on all-fours, and fawn like dogs on any hand that will buckle a collar onto them, and toss them the leavings of the table?
I am not related to them.I have nothing to do with them.
They cannot make any rules for me.If pride and dignity and independence are dead in them, why, so much the worse for them! It is no affair of mine.Certainly it is no reason why I should get down and grovel also.No; I at least stand erect on my legs."Mr.Ware sat up, and stared confusedly, with round eyes and parted lips, at his companion.Instinctively his brain dragged forth to the surface those epithets which the doctor had hurled in bitter contempt at her--"mad ass, a mere bundle of egotism, ignorance, and red-headed lewdness."The words rose in their order on his memory, hard and sharp-edged, like arrow-heads.But to sit there, quite at her side; to breathe the same air, and behold the calm loveliness of her profile; to touch the ribbon of her dress--and all the while to hold these poisoned darts of abuse levelled in thought at her breast--it was monstrous.
He could have killed the doctor at that moment.
With an effort, he drove the foul things from his mind--scattered them back into the darkness.He felt that he had grown pale, and wondered if she had heard the groan that seemed to have been forced from him in the struggle.
Or was the groan imaginary?
Celia continued to sit unmoved, composedly looking upon vacancy.Theron's eyes searched her face in vain for any sign of consciousness that she had astounded and bewildered him.She did not seem to be thinking of him at all.The proud calm of her thoughtful countenance suggested instead occupation with lofty and remote abstractions and noble ideals.Contemplating her, he suddenly perceived that what she had been saying was great, wonderful, magnificent.An involuntary thrill ran through his veins at recollection of her words.
His fancy likened it to the sensation he used to feel as a youth, when the Fourth of July reader bawled forth that opening clause: "When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary," etc.It was nothing less than another Declaration of Independence he had been listening to.
He sank again recumbent at her side, and stretched the arm behind her, nearer than before."Apparently, then, you will never marry." His voice trembled a little.
"Most certainly not!" said Celia.
"You spoke so feelingly a little while ago," he ventured along, with hesitation, "about how sadly the notion of a priest's sacrificing himself--never knowing what love meant--appealed to a woman.I should think that the idea of sacrificing herself would seem to her even sadder still.""I don't remember that we mentioned THAT," she replied.
"How do you mean--sacrificing herself?"
Theron gathered some of the outlying folds of her dress in his hand, and boldly patted and caressed them.
"You, so beautiful and so free, with such fine talents and abilities," he murmured; "you, who could have the whole world at your feet--are you, too, never going to know what love means? Do you call that no sacrifice? To me it is the most terrible that my imagination can conceive."Celia laughed--a gentle, amused little laugh, in which Theron's ears traced elements of tenderness."You must regulate that imagination of yours," she said playfully.
"It conceives the thing that is not.Pray, when"--and here, turning her head, she bent down upon his face a gaze of arch mock-seriousness--"pray, when did I describe myself in these terms? When did I say that I should never know what love meant?"For answer Theron laid his head down upon his arm, and closed his eyes, and held his face against the draperies encircling her."I cannot think!" he groaned.
The thing that came uppermost in his mind, as it swayed and rocked in the tempest of emotion, was the strange reminiscence of early childhood in it all.It was like being a little boy again, nestling in an innocent, unthinking transport of affection against his mother's skirts.
The tears he felt scalding his eyes were the spontaneous, unashamed tears of a child; the tremulous and exquisite joy which spread, wave-like, over him, at once reposeful and yearning, was full of infantile purity and sweetness.
He had not comprehended at all before what wellsprings of spiritual beauty, what limpid depths of idealism, his nature contained.
"We were speaking of our respective religions,"he heard Celia say, as imperturbably as if there had been no digression worth mentioning.
"Yes," he assented, and moved his head so that he looked up at her back hair, and the leaves high above, mottled against the sky.The wish to lie there, where now he could just catch the rose-leaf line of her under-chin as well, was very strong upon him."Yes?" he repeated.
"I cannot talk to you like that," she said; and he sat up again shamefacedly.
"Yes--I think we were speaking of religions--some time ago,"he faltered, to relieve the situation.The dreadful thought that she might be annoyed began to oppress him.
"Well, you said whatever my religion was, it was yours too.
That entitles you at least to be told what the religion is.
Now, I am a Catholic."
