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第72章 Chapter 22 (3)

Miss Miggs also put in her word to the same effect. She said thatindeed and indeed Miss Dolly might take pattern by her blessedmother, who, she always had said, and always would say, though shewere to be hanged, drawn, and quartered for it next minute, wasthe mildest, amiablest, forgivingest-spirited, longest-sufferingestfemale as ever she could have believed; the mere narration of whoseexcellencies had worked such a wholesome change in the mind of herown sister-in-law, that, whereas, before, she and her husband livedlike cat and dog, and were in the habit of exchanging brasscandlesticks, pot-lids, flat-irons, and other such strongresentments, they were now the happiest and affectionatest coupleupon earth; as could be proved any day on application at GoldenLion Court, number twenty-sivin, second bell-handle on the right-hand doorpost. After glancing at herself as a comparatively worthless vessel, but still as one of some desert, she besought herto bear in mind that her aforesaid dear and only mother was of aweakly constitution and excitable temperament, who had constantlyto sustain afflictions in domestic life, compared with whichthieves and robbers were as nothing, and yet never sunk down orgave way to despair or wrath, but, in prize-fighting phraseology,always came up to time with a cheerful countenance, and went in towin as if nothing had happened. When Miggs finished her solo, hermistress struck in again, and the two together performed a duet tothe same purpose; the burden being, that Mrs Varden was persecutedperfection, and Mr Varden, as the representative of mankind in thatapartment, a creature of vicious and brutal habits, utterlyinsensible to the blessings he enjoyed. Of so refined a character,indeed, was their talent of assault under the mask of sympathy,that when Dolly, recovering, embraced her father tenderly, as invindication of his goodness, Mrs Varden expressed her solemn hopethat this would be a lesson to him for the remainder of his life,and that he would do some little justice to a woman"s nature everafterwards--in which aspiration Miss Miggs, by divers sniffs andcoughs, more significant than the longest oration, expressed herentire concurrence.

But the great joy of Miggs"s heart was, that she not only picked up a full account of what had happened, but had the exquisite delightof conveying it to Mr Tappertit for his jealousy and torture. Forthat gentleman, on account of Dolly"s indisposition, had beenrequested to take his supper in the workshop, and it was conveyedthither by Miss Miggs"s own fair hands.

"Oh Simmun!" said the young lady, "such goings on to-day! Oh,gracious me, Simmun!"

Mr Tappertit, who was not in the best of humours, and whodisliked Miss Miggs more when she laid her hand on her heart andpanted for breath than at any other time, as her deficiency ofoutline was most apparent under such circumstances, eyed her overin his loftiest style, and deigned to express no curiositywhatever.

"I never heard the like, nor nobody else," pursued Miggs. "Theidea of interfering with HER. What people can see in her to makeit worth their while to do so, that"s the joke--he he he!"

Finding there was a lady in the case, Mr Tappertit haughtilyrequested his fair friend to be more explicit, and demanded to knowwhat she meant by "her."

"Why, that Dolly," said Miggs, with an extremely sharp emphasis onthe name. "But, oh upon my word and honour, young Joseph Willet isa brave one; and he do deserve her, that he do."

"Woman!" said Mr Tappertit, jumping off the counter on which he wasseated; "beware!"

"My stars, Simmun!" cried Miggs, in affected astonishment. "Youfrighten me to death! What"s the matter?"

"There are strings," said Mr Tappertit, flourishing his bread-andcheeseknife in the air, "in the human heart that had better not bewibrated. That"s what"s the matter."

"Oh, very well--if you"re in a huff," cried Miggs, turning away.

"Huff or no huff," said Mr Tappertit, detaining her by the wrist.

"What do you mean, Jezebel? What were you going to say? Answerme!"

Notwithstanding this uncivil exhortation, Miggs gladly did as shewas required; and told him how that their young mistress, being alone in the meadows after dark, had been attacked by three or fourtall men, who would have certainly borne her away and perhapsmurdered her, but for the timely arrival of Joseph Willet, who withhis own single hand put them all to flight, and rescued her; to thelasting admiration of his fellow-creatures generally, and to theeternal love and gratitude of Dolly Varden.

"Very good," said Mr Tappertit, fetching a long breath when thetale was told, and rubbing his hair up till it stood stiff andstraight on end all over his head. "His days are numbered."

"Oh, Simmun!"

"I tell you," said the "prentice, "his days are numbered. Leaveme. Get along with you."

Miggs departed at his bidding, but less because of his bidding thanbecause she desired to chuckle in secret. When she had given ventto her satisfaction, she returned to the parlour; where thelocksmith, stimulated by quietness and Toby, had become talkative,and was disposed to take a cheerful review of the occurrences ofthe day. But Mrs Varden, whose practical religion (as is notuncommon) was usually of the retrospective order, cut him short by declaiming on the sinfulness of such junketings, and holding thatit was high time to go to bed. To bed therefore she withdrew, withan aspect as grim and gloomy as that of the Maypole"s own statecouch; and to bed the rest of the establishment soon afterwardsrepaired.

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